These days with all the problems we face in the world, in addition to the inevitable health problems which all those in our age group must face as time passes, I often indulge in a pastime which is quite self indulgent.  Looking back.

The old trunk in the storeroom holds so many memories ! When I need a break I slip away quietly alone and spend a few minutes .. or at times a few hours ..  looking back through the years and remembering.

As the years rush by, which they seem to be doing at an escalated rate these days, when I do allow myself the luxury of  stealing an hour here and there to open the old trunk , many different thoughts  flood my mind and time seems to fade away as I rummage through the treasures so carefully packed away through the years.Those treasures now provide a wonderful means of  calling up recollections of people and moments in time which are very precious to me. 

 My Grandfather whom I adored, and who I still miss more than words can possibly express. My Mother, that dear lady who bore so much pain in her life, and never complained. The little girl I once was so very long ago, my little Sister, my wonderfully crazy Brother who can still make me laugh no matter how grave the situation may be, and of course my very much loved Son.

So much of my Grandfather and his teachings  continue to dictate my actions, even today so many years later.  It is as if he never really left us. No one before or since has so influenced my life or been more loved. He passed away in 1956 and yet I don't think a single week in all those years has gone by when I haven't had occasion to refer to him or to something he taught me. I have a cherished picture of him which has graced a wall in every home I have had through the years and his image never fails to remind me how much I loved, and was loved by, that wonderful man.  How very, very lucky I was to be his grand daughter !

 My Mother, his daughter, faced so much in her life yet never became bitter, and one thing I shall never forget is her never ending optimism. Oh yes, she could when called upon show a stubborn side as well which at times could make me absolutely furious, but I have to admit  that trait is one of the characteristics I am told she passed on to me.

My Sister was many years younger than my brother and I , and for many years during my youth we didn't have the opportunity to spend a great deal of time together. Only as adults have we really come to know one another and recognize the gift we share being sisters .. I do still remember the day she was born and how my brother and I considered her birth  a 'miraculous event' . I know we made a point of informing everyone on our entire street within minutes of being told the news.  After all, it was wartime and good news was at a premium. She was so adorable and cute.. and in those early years with our father off fighting in the war in Europe she brought much needed laughter and many happy moments to all of us. 

 My Brother is another story. We were born two years apart so grew up together. I always knew how lucky I was to have him as my brother.. even if having a younger brother could be a drag at times. As we grew up and as the years have passed I have cherished  him and his never ending kindness and sense of humour. I love him dearly. So many times in my life, when I have been feeling alone or down hearted, just hearing his voice has made what ever the problem may be seem  less onerous or troublesome, and invariably before our conversation comes to an end  I am smiling. More often than not, laughing.  What a treasure he has been, and is to me ! 

These days both my brother and sister live many miles away but knowing they are always there means the world to me. Family is truly our greatest blessing .. why must it so often take so long to realize that ? We take so much for granted when we are young. It really is true.. with age comes wisdom.

My Son ... words can not even begin to express how he and my love for him has made my life whole. From the first instant I laid eyes on him in the delivery room I was totally, irrevocably, committed to keeping him safe always and loving him with my whole heart and soul. No feeling in the world even comes close to the feeling which floods your being when you first hold your child. Perhaps that feeling was intensified in my case because it was such a difficult pregnancy and birth. My son entered the world with his leg broken as the doctors had to break  his leg or his neck might have broken. Suffice it to say ,he has always been my most precious treasure.

As a little boy he was an absolute joy, still young enough that Mommy could fix all the hurts and keep him safe. Through his school years the second biggest humbug was 'getting his homework done'.. he could give new meaning to the word.. 'procrastinate' in those days ! Number one was getting him up in the morning ! Boy ! did he hate to get up ! Only as a teen did the worry and concern reach heights any parent dreads as you come to realize that Mommy can't fix everything with a band aid and a kiss. We, as parents, want so much to be able to pass on what we have learned through the years so our children will not make the same mistakes which we made growing up and to hopefully make their journey to adulthood easier. But of course this is impossible. They will make  their own mistakes and all we can do is be there and love them, no matter what.

One memory which can still reduce me to  tears is the sight of him taking his first steps, after months and months on crutches from a football injury , a compound fracture of his hip, which had required surgery and the implanting of three metal pins. The surgeon had cautioned that he might not walk again without a handicap due to a delay in diagnosis  caused by a doctor's  negligence and misreading of x-rays and a four day gap between the accident and the necessary surgery. I cannot begin to explain what those first steps on his own meant to me ! The possibility of this sixteen year old boy , an avid hockey player, ball player and normally active teenager being handicapped in this manner had been a nightmare I had lived with for months.

Those first steps only paled slightly when several months later he was awarded the trophy as outstanding goaltender in the year's  big hockey tournament. He earned the award  because not only had he played each and every game in top form ... he had climaxed that performance with a shut -out in the final and championship determining game. That this is still considered such a big deal to his Mom had nothing to do with winning  those games ... it had everything to do with those many months of anxiety and heartache as I watched my son navigate on those abominable crutches not knowing if he would ever again even be able to skate, let alone play hockey.

 A happier memory is that of the Christmas we gave him his first car. It was an ugly looking old used car but in excellent mechanical condition  and ideal as a teenager's first car. He was not expecting it  and was totally ecstatic and excited beyond words. I think he rotated on his knees and his nose on the kitchen floor whooping and hollering for about five minutes  before he regained composure sufficiently to offer his thanks for such a wonderful surprise. That car, which had cost us next to nothing, gave him many hours of pleasure through the following year. Nothing however to equal the happiness his Mom felt at seeing her boy so happy that Christmas morning.

 That car did of course bring worries as well.  I cannot count the nights I waited with my heart in my mouth for the sound of the engine coming up the driveway which would signal  that my boy was safely home one more time. Doesn't every parent  dread that  momentous occasion when a driver's license  is earned by their child and they can drive a car on their own ?

So many memories. All so very precious to me.The joy and the happiness he has brought to my life more than make up for any worries or tears  I may have experienced along the way. I have always been very proud of him and his accomplishments and remain so to this day. There are times I wonder if he really has any idea how much happiness he has given his Mom.Sometimes in the struggle of day to day living we forget to take the time to make sure our children actually know  how very much they are loved. Only once they are grown and absorbed in their own lives do we realize how quickly the time when they were 'ours' sped by. For they are only ours for such a short time. Our children are loaned to us so we may do our best to hopefully teach them how to cope with what lies ahead in life, to love them, and to  see them grow and become independent  persons in their own right.  And then  we must let go and see them continue life's journey carrying a very large piece of our hearts which is forever theirs.

Some believe treasures are something you accumulate and  save in a special case or cabinet.  I believe the greatest treasures we will ever hold dear in life are our children and grandchildren.

There are blessings which come with age of course.  Grandchildren. My son has given me a multitude of such blessings. Having been an only child, and always  very much wanting brothers and sisters, he has made very sure his children will not  suffer the same fate. He has  five sons and five daughters, all beautiful healthy children and very much loved. 

  I am doubly fortunate as I have acquired a second group of grandchildren during the past few years. My husband came with eight absolutely delightful grandchildren, and has just been blessed with another ... all of them girls !  As I have come to know and love them  I have realized anew how wonderful it can be to open your heart to children. God Bless them, they are so willing and eager to give back so much more than we offer them.

 As part of my good fortune in recent years I must also add the special moments with my Husband. After many years spent alone we managed  to find one another once again. We had known one another so many, many years ago ... (more years than I freely admit to). We went our separate ways whilst still teenagers, married, raised our families, and after many years  with our life's partners we had both found ourselves alone  fully expecting this would be a permanent state. And then, very much by chance, we re-discovered one another after all those years  living only twenty minutes  from one another ! After finding one another again, and having spent many hours reliving old memories and catching up on one another's lives, we decided six years ago to spend our remaining years together  and are in the process of making new memories to add to the store of treasured recollections we now share.

The old trunk in the storeroom has lots of room still. We plan on cherishing each moment of this time we have been given and adding to its contents with each day that passes.

Charles Dickens wrote ,"For nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own."